Not everybody is physically fit.  I mean there are  some people in the club who hit a few balls and suddenly they’re breathless and gasping for air.  This is bad.  Before COVID 19 it wasn’t bad, but now it’s really bad. Why?  Because of the nature of the air flow.  These guys with their coughs and their sneezes and their bronchospasms and their rhinorrhea – all that mucky, scummy air of theirs, it’s rushing toward your pink, pristine lungs. Take heed, my friends.

Yeah, there’s no question that the exhaled air from these guys doing even mild aerobic exercise can infuse the indoor environment with droplets containing the cursed virus. And there’s research bombarding the airwaves that report that these aerosolized droplets, these tiny particles, can stick around just above the ping pong tables for about 3 hours.  With more people, the situation is worse.  With a confined space, ditto – not good.  The harder they breathe the higher the number of droplets.  And, remember, you can be shedding the virus even if you’re asymptomatic or pre-symptomatic (i.e.,you have it without symptoms before you get sick).

What to do?  Glad you asked.  That’s what I’m here for. (Editor: Caution:  When Lao Du transforms into his cocky persona, you know it forecasts something awry and twisted.)   Well, for one thing, get outta the enclosed space.  Get it in gear and go outside.  The WTTC should put the tables on the roof.  Yes, on the ROOF!  If we were playing up there on the roof, there’d be much less of a risk in contracting the disease because the aerosolized droplets would be dispersed by the wind. A breeze would probably be sufficient, but a nor’easter would probably provide as much protection as all the vaccines I hear they’re working on.

I don’t wanna say that by being outdoors that you’re guaranteed immunity, but there’s no question, your odds will be improved dramatically.  Well, but there is some trouble with the roof idea.  I mean let’s be honest here, it could rain.  We’ll need a roof on the roof to prevent that.  Also, bear in mind that the wind may blow the ball around worse than the dead ball effect you get from an SOB using the dreaded Long Pips.  And, of course, there is always a danger of falling off the roof – which would require the installation of mattresses around the perimeter of the building. (We could probably go to the dump and get some used ones, but the WTTC may not want to do that, in which case we’d probably have to chip in to get some unstained new ones.)

Bottom line:  Figure out what you’re risk tolerances are, and whether you have good enough balance to stay on the roof while hitting a ping pong ball being blown about by gusting winds.  Lao Du